Unprofessional Snarky B-Movie Review-No Bimbos!

descent.jpg

I’m watching The Descent.  Right now.  Seriously.  (BTW, I have a short, horror story that won a first place award by the same name.) Okay, I’m about halfway into the movie and I’m pretty freaked out.  Just got the first glimpse of what we’re dealing with creature-wise… oh yeah, baby.  Cool. 

A little further now and so far, the best thing about this movie is the six women who star in it– they aren’t bimbos!  They’re real, athletic, smart women and they kick ass!  There are a few stupid female moments but come on, if you were deep in the bowels of a creepy-assed cave, unsure of a way out and these freaky-assed creatures were terrorizing you, you’d make a bad decision or two. 

Anyone overly claustrophobic might have a bit of trouble with the movie.  As would anyone who has trouble with blood.  Lots of the stuff.  However, it’s not like slasher movie blood– it’s more like “something’s really bad here” blood.  And then, there are the creatures.  Creepy things.  Jana about crawled out of her skin at first glimpse.

We’re at the end. 

(My sister, Jana, is with me of course.  Horror movies and wine.  It’s our thing.  Okay, and coffee.  Tonight more coffee than wine…) 

Anyway, we’re at the end… It’s promising… promising… oh cool fight scene and… crap.  The main character, who has impressed me so far, made a decision I didn’t like.   

 jana.jpg Can’t hear the reason over Jana’s loud boos.  Guess she didn’t like it either.

But, I won’t give it away.  Maybe the end will give you a better high.  Maybe you’ll see it as a survival of the fittest or a reactionary thing… I see that, but if I had written this, she would have made the harder choice and then maybe went after a little retribution. Ah well.

You know, I haven’t been terribly pleased with the end of a scary movie in sooo long.  I should be writing these myself.  In fact, I might.  But, as far as they go, this one isn’t too bad.  The spelunking aspects are interesting and like I said, the characters aren’t stupid, top-heavy, brain-dead chicks who run screaming at the sound of a fart or ones who pause to look at pictures on a wall when they’re being chased by crazy psychos who like nothing better than to collect the scalps of stupid, top-heavy– oh, you get it.

me-again.jpg Nah, I don’t have an attitude, do I? 

But, check out this poster.  The quote at the top, alone, would have pulled me into the film.  Big time Alien fan here. 🙂

descent-aith-small.jpg

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About Rinda Elliott

Writer.I love unusual stories and credit growing up in a family of curious life-lovers who moved all over the country. Books and movies full of fantasy, science fiction and romance kept us amused, especially in some of the stranger places. For years, I tried to separate my darker side with my humorous and romantic one. I published short fiction, but things really started happening when I gave in and mixed it up. When not lost in fiction, I love making wine, collecting music, gaming and spending time with my husband and two children. I’m represented by Miriam Kriss of the Irene Goodman Agency.
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7 Responses to Unprofessional Snarky B-Movie Review-No Bimbos!

  1. Terri says:

    Okay, now I absolutely *must* watch this, because I was afraid it was a “bimbo-top-heavy movie”. But August will be MUY disappointed!! LoL

    Happy New Year, baby!

    Terri

  2. Sherri says:

    That’s a cool poster.

    I’ve been wanting to see it, but I’m too scared.

    Happy new year 🙂

  3. Missy says:

    I’ve been reluctant to see this one. Don’t want to be disappointed, I guess.

    I hesitated to watch The Cave but was pleasantly surprised (in a spooky way) when I finally did. (Bloodthirsty creatures await a pack of divers who become trapped in an underwater cave network.)

  4. relliott4 says:

    I didn’t want to watch it at first because it’s the same premise as The Cave. This one is different.

    I may have to watch it again because Jana and I were yacking a bit through the beginning and we missed a scene that might have been important. I will warn you… the beginning is heartbreaking.

    Terri, the hubby will not be disappointed. The women are beautiful, smart and capable. Like you. So, they’re his type.

  5. Laura says:

    I’ve had people recommending this to me for a long time. Your review made me finally bump it up to the top of the Netflix cue.

    I haven’t like a horror flick end in a while either. How do you top Halloween? Or Texas Chainsaw (Hooper’s 1974 original)? Wait.. The first Saw had a bitchin’ ending, but not the second (haven’t seen III yet), and I did like how Texas Chainsaw: The Beginning ended. Hated Ringu’s ending. Soooo good until then.

    But yeah.. The Descent. I’ll watch it when I get it in the mail.

  6. Me and my wife saw it in the theater. It wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t great either. Most who walked out of the theater were ripping it apart.

  7. RElliott4 says:

    I haven’t seen a great scary movie in forever! If you see one, do share. 🙂

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