Search String Fun

Having a blast looking at the searches that ended up on my blog again. 

Warning:  Some of them are uh, strange.

Warning 2:  I apologize ahead of time for exposing you to my unfortunate sense of humor.

Worf Penises–  Nothing like a grand kick-off.  I posted a pic of Worf once.  Think it was in response to some funny Klingon phrases.  Don’t remember anything about his penis. And do you notice the plural?????

Ankle Tattoos– Every day with this one, too.  I have more hits on an old post about Country Music and Ankle Tattoos than any other.  And I always feel the need to explain that I don’t have a problem with ankle tats– it’s just that there were quite a few really bad and seriously huge ones at this festival.  There.  Last time explaining.

Hannah Montana Thong–Okay, pervs!  Every single freaking day someone looks this up and lands here.  She’s a baby!!!  The child looks a little like me, but a baby version, kay?  And no, there will be no thong pictures of me.  Trust me.  Be glad.

Love Fairy— Hmm.  There are many variations to this search.  Beautiful love fairy, fairy love… hot, fairy sex…  And NO, I can’t figure out where they end up with this one.

Ullr-Hope they enjoyed the Norse Gods story because I can’t tell if they made it to that page or not. 

 Writing crap-I hope they found some words of encouragement while they stumbled upon the knowledge that we all write this.

 Jill Monroe wrestling–because not a day goes by without this one and I’ve come to look forward to it.

Primus Eyeball–  eh… what?

Funny Observations about Women– Hmm.. I think I’ve been quite loyal to my gender.  Wonder where this took them?

Anita Blake– I know I found the perfect Anita.  See this post?  I’m sending you to the old Blogger one since the pic is bigger.  I don’t think anyone agreed with me.

INFJ Personality Soul Mate– You know, I posted a long, long post about the INFJ thing and I left out the part about the soul mate because mine didn’t match… If I believed in soul mates.  Cool concept, tho.

Deciduous–  Okay, for the life of me, I don’t remember posting anything about deciduous–trees or otherwise.

Pictures with virgin end boobs–  Eh, got nothing here.  Reads weird no matter how many times I look at it.

Hill Ditty–  Here’s a little ditty about Jack and Jill.The childhood version didn’t offer any thrill. Cause all the girls knew the story was a joke. No girl would have fallen after that broken-headed bloke.  (I had fever when I wrote that, work with me. <g>)

Cleavage Lolitas–   Lolita was too young for cleavage.  Wait, in the first version, she had it, didn’t she?  Someone once told me that was her idea of the perfect love story.  It certainly isn’t mine.  That dude was a seriously ill perv.  Bet he would have looked up the Hannah Montana thing.

Time for Sex– I admit, I had to look this search up.  I mean, is there a manual telling us how to make time?  And if not, would people want one?  I could write one up in the blink of an eye.  Of course, today is the first sixty degree, sunny morning in weeks and there are squirrels doing it all over my yard.  One pair is right outside the window by my writing chair.  Maybe I should just close the blinds and give them some privacy.

Rocky Mountain Oysers— yes, the typo is there and they still got to the Snark.  I write about calf fries once–once– and have been able to relive the experience at least twice a week since.  I’m amazed at how many people look up edible balls.

And a new one…

X-Spot Sex–  So, X, you got another interesting site you haven’t been sharing?  I feel left out.  –Always.  Always, share the good stuff, man.

About Rinda Elliott

Writer.I love unusual stories and credit growing up in a family of curious life-lovers who moved all over the country. Books and movies full of fantasy, science fiction and romance kept us amused, especially in some of the stranger places. For years, I tried to separate my darker side with my humorous and romantic one. I published short fiction, but things really started happening when I gave in and mixed it up. When not lost in fiction, I love making wine, collecting music, gaming and spending time with my husband and two children. I’m represented by Miriam Kriss of the Irene Goodman Agency.
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9 Responses to Search String Fun

  1. Worf Penises?

    Seriously? I’m speechless. 😉

  2. Rinda says:

    Yeah, I know. Weird. Maybe it’s some kind of sex toy.

    Oh, ROFL!!!!! You look it up.

  3. SciFiChick says:

    LOL. You definitely get more kinky searches than I do!
    Mine most revolve around searching for more info on tv shows, books, or superheroes. Though I do get the occasional weird ones that make no sense.

  4. I get one that comes up quite a bit– “Mum shits herself”…

    I never feel like I want to follow THAT cybertrail back to whence it came…

  5. Jill Monroe says:

    You know what’s strange, hardly anyone comes to my site anymore looking for the wrestler Jill Monroe.

  6. relliott4 says:

    Jill, I’ll have to change what this says. I haven’t had one look for you wrestling in three days.

    I think they hit my site because I’ve written the search string out a couple of times. 🙂

    Scott, what statcounter do you use? WordPress just shows me search strings so I can’t follow people back. I use Statcounter on my store, but it only shows the url.

  7. pyrogyne says:

    The Hannah Montana thong creeps me out thoroughly. My five-year-old son loves Hannah.


  8. RElliott4 says:

    I get a ton of people hitting in that search string so there must be a pic on the net somewhere. I keep hoping she’s older than she looks. 🙂

    Welcome to the Snark!

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