Whining, Calories and Puffy Face Monsters

So, anyone know how to lose weight in your face? 

I know. I’m 37 now and can’t expect to look like I’m still in my twenties.  Yeah, I’m whining today.  But don’t worry, it’s all in fun.  <g>

I’m nearly six feet tall and everyone tells me I’m at a good weight–that I was a skeleton before.  Truth is, I do sometimes like my weight a little more now.  I actually have boobs.  (Probably TMI for you all, but I never had them before so it’s a big deal to me.  heh heh.) 

But I don’t like the extra weight on my face.  With so much Cherokee and German in my genetics, I’m already prone to a wide, square face.  Seems it only looks like me below 135 lbs and I have to literally starve to get there these days.  Not happening.  For one, I like to cook.  And well, I’m just not into suffering.  Think that comes with age as well. <g>

But something happens around 35 and keeping that low weight gets harder and harder.  Having such a sedentary career doesn’t help.  I’d rather be sitting on my ass writing than doing just about anything else.

Yeah, I get on my treadmill, but as Rachel and I discussed the other day, you have to run fast and FOREVER for the calories to burn on that thing.  And it’s so freaking boring!  I try to read but end up tripping over my size eleven feet and flying into walls.  See this post.

It’s funny.  Kelli flatters me with talk of Amazon women, but those of us who see over the heads of most men we know, just tend to feel well, big. <g>  In fact, I’m sharing some rock videos tomorrow of an artist who feels the same way. 

Anyway, this conversation of ours happened Sunday.  We had lunch before Rachel gave her first writing workshop.  (She was wonderful and even read aloud and the best part?  She cursed.  It was dialogue, of course, since she hardly ever does that herself–but watching her face tint red with those words was just plain fun.  Oh, and she even let me hold her ARC <g>)  We had a blast, but part of our lunch conversation was on calories and exactly how many were in the salad, bread sticks and yummy potato crusted chicken on pasta with garlic butter sauce.  Oh man.  Good, good stuff there.

I’m just now learning about calories.  Never wanted to pay attention before.  So, she’s laughing at my horror. 

“200 calories in that alone.”  She pointed to the garlic bread stick I was happily munching.

“Really?  Wow.  Walking fast one mile on my treadmill covers only this bread stick.  ONLY this bread stick.” Actually, this was a big moment for me.  I knew in that instant that I had been a happier person before knowing this.

“Yeah, you don’t want to know about the salad.”

“Then, I suppose the actual chicken drenched in butter–this fabulous pasta and whole garlic sauce—this heavenly smelling food we’re about to eat–it’s like seriously bad.  I’m talking all day on the treadmill bad.”

“Yeah.”  She grinned.  “Let’s eat it anyway.”

LOL! She apologized for cluing me in, but I assured her, I prefer to be knowledgeable about everything I can.

So, she tells me about Lean Cuisine– says they’re good.  As a recovering victim of bad frozen food, I was skeptical, but I purchased some yesterday.  Tried my first one today.  Butternut squash ravioli with snow peas, carrots and nuts.  Everything is better with nuts.  (I know, I’ll pay for this remark.)  Hey, it was pretty good and way more interesting than the food I usually scrounge on heavy writing days like today.  Not much of it.  Though… I suppose that is the point.

Snacking on heavy writing days is my norm.   But, I simply must be good now.  If I eat less, I can still have my wine occasionally.  Gotta have priorities, right? 🙂

Anyway, Rachel, who swears she can never take good pictures is a liar.  She is.  In fact, she looked just as fantastic in person as she did in these pics.  I asked our host to take three shots. Three.  Notice how wonderful and freaking CLEAR Rachel looks?  In every single one? 

Not only am I blurry all weirdly by myself in two, but I somehow stumbled into some bad lighting.  Was I bopping around or what? 

It has to be because I’m always looking down at the photographer.  Has to be.  I need to squat and look up or something.  Or find that damned puffy face monster.  And uh, I only included that last one to show you the very weird blurry onlyme.  Rachel, once again, looks stunning.  My expression though… ouch.  LOL!

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It looks like I’m thinking something really, really bad here, eh? 

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About Rinda Elliott

Writer.I love unusual stories and credit growing up in a family of curious life-lovers who moved all over the country. Books and movies full of fantasy, science fiction and romance kept us amused, especially in some of the stranger places. For years, I tried to separate my darker side with my humorous and romantic one. I published short fiction, but things really started happening when I gave in and mixed it up. When not lost in fiction, I love making wine, collecting music, gaming and spending time with my husband and two children. I’m represented by Miriam Kriss of the Irene Goodman Agency.
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22 Responses to Whining, Calories and Puffy Face Monsters

  1. carol says:

    I like your looks, Rinda, always have. Rachel looks like a pretty girl. I wanted to come to that workshop but didn’t make it. I bet it was really good, she seems sharp. And you don’t have a fat face, I have a fat face. So stop stressing. I know, easy for me to say. Besides, at this point, if people haven’t accepted me for who I am, screw them. It’s too late.
    Carol

  2. relliott4 says:

    Not stressing–this was all in fun, remember?

    Hope you’re feeling better. I did see your name on the sign in sheet and looked for you. 🙂

  3. Erica R says:

    135 lbs sounds ultra skinny for being almost 6 feet tall! I wouldn’t worry about it–you’re plenty cute! (Well… maybe not in the third picture. *g) Butternut squash ravioli sounds awesome, but I’ve never seen it in my local supermarkets. I’m gonna hafta write a letter!

  4. relliott4 says:

    It is ultra skinny and is only possible through harship I don’t want anymore. heh heh

    This is supposed to be ridiculous complaining in fun. A joke. I have no desire to be that skinny again– well, except in the face. LOL!!!

    I spent most of my life this tall and under 120 lbs, so for me it feels weird and I find humor in it since most look at me like I’m crazy.

    Yeah, that last pic is major beauty queen material.

  5. I think you’re gorgeous. But I completely understand about the face. I have to contort my head to try and hide what gravity and time has done to my chin/neck/face.

    And Rachel looks fantastic, too. Did she color her hair?

    (I’m stealing the second photo for my Flickr account. I’ll send you my ‘makeover’ photo once I get it this weekend.)

  6. Michele says:

    Rinda, too have the ‘puffy monster’ at my house. Once I hit 30-something, my cheeks exploded. The rest of me is fine, but dang!
    Our cheeks must have a different metabolism than the rest of our body. HA!
    Anyway, you look just fine. Everyone says I look fine too, but I do my best to be the photographer not the photographee.

    btw, i really enjoy your site.

  7. relliott4 says:

    I know! What’s up with that? It’s like our heads are on a different time schedule. Not fair at all.

    My problem is I’m not that photogenic either. I’m hardly ever still or quiet so I always have one of those “about to do or say something” expressions. The few pictures I do load here are just that… few. LOL!

    I’m glad you enjoy my site. I’ll have to get an ID so I can comment on yours. Wonderful slideshow, btw. We have daughters around the same age. 🙂

    Heather, I emailed. 🙂

  8. Briana says:

    Rinda, you’re beautiful! You were beautiful when I knew you back at Kay’s store in Alexandria and you’re still beautiful! As a short and round girl, I was always envious of your height.

  9. relliott4 says:

    Bree!!! How are you? I haven’t talked to you in forever. Still editing? Still in Virginia?

  10. Kathy says:

    LOL, I know what you were doing–the same thing you always do! You were shifting your fit.

    You do it ALL THE TIME. LOL

  11. Kathy says:

    …uh, feet.

    It’s early. :\

  12. relliott4 says:

    LOL! Shifting my fit made sense. I was bending my knees to be in the picture so I was probably shifting my feet and bouncing.

    Kathy, you swear you can get a good pic of me and I’m about to take you up on it. I’ll need them when I sell this book, right?

  13. My Mum was another one of those tall skinny chicks when young. She was before her time though. At least you got predecessors.

    I would much rather be tall than stuck in everybody’s armpits in the subway…

  14. I think you’re beautiful!

    I’m in my 40s, have begun feeling really self-conscious at readings because I’m always looking DOWN and have a double chin.

    PLUS, my face is really ROUND. But when I lost weight, a couple of years ago, it didn’t improve my looks. All it did was make my face look LONG (i.e., OLDER). So I don’t care now that I’m a bit plump. Better plump (full cheeks!) than thin with a looong face 🙂

  15. relliott4 says:

    Thanks. I looked you up and found a wonderful face! And what looks to be a fun blog I look forward to exploring. 🙂

    I don’t think we see ourselves in the best light. We have this idea of “how” we should look or we have this residual image of “how” we looked in our twenties. But honestly, I look better plump. Pictures add weight and during the years I weighed less than 120 at my height, I was constantly checked for eating disorders and strangers gave me food– one even handed me a milkshake once.

    I recently had a birthday and I’ve been struggling to lose weight before bathing suit season, so my frustration came out loud and clear. I’m better today. heh heh

    Anthropology is something I have a lot of interest in, btw. 🙂

  16. Ron S says:

    I came over from Mel Odom’s blog. You look fine to me. The blurry pics is odd. I have found that at 30, my entire metabolism went haywire. I am about to build a special keyboard holder for my reclining excercuse bike. that way i can write and ride. I cannot run since I blew my knee out in the Army and it hurts to freaking bad.

  17. relliott4 says:

    I just love Mel! Thanks for visiting and the compliment. 🙂

    Now, down to business. If you invent a keyboard holder for that bike, do fill us in. I’d like a version for my treadmill. No, probably too jerky. Okay, what kind of bike? I have no cartlidge in my right knee so a reclining bike with writing capabilities sounds pretty much perfect!

  18. I think you look beautiful. Even blurry. 😉

    I hate my nose.

  19. relliott4 says:

    Kathy says I always shift my feet. She should know. She’s tried taking pics of me before. I’m always squatting or wiggling or talking. Need to calm down…

  20. Kathy says:

    Yes, you will need it when you SELL THAT BOOK! 🙂 And “fit” is a better word for you. It’s tall people disease; we are always trying to “fit” in to the shot with other people. I understand completely.

    Sure, I could make you look good (cause I’m that good LOL–just kidding). Heck, if I can make Saint John look good…. And she does look great in that PR shot, if I may say so.

    You know…I’m amazed (referencing OWFI PR stuff) how many writers/editors/agents, people who speak at conferences and are professional persons, don’t have a good PR shot! That’s item #1, I’d think. It makes you look soooooo much more like you know what the hell you are doing–like you are serious in your field. I know it’s just a pic, but it’s true.

    For newsletters and programs and such, some people just send a tacky snapshot and we crop their head out. It LOOKS like that, too, grainy and all disjointed from the others. Then some have amazing professional shots. Makes the others look bad.

    It just amazes me (rant over). LOL

  21. relliott4 says:

    I agree. And that crack about Saint John… shame on you. 😉

    Hey send me your link again and I’ll share your picture taking skills on my blog–major skills, btw!

  22. ron simpson says:

    Mel is pretty awesome. I am taking his writing classes. One of these days I will finish my novel…..
    I have a bum knee too. I injured it pretty badly in the Army. Hence the reclining bike.
    I have a cheapo reclining bike from Wally-world. It cost us less than a hundred dollars. The keyboard stand will probably be based off of a tv tray. If I get one perfected, I will let you know. I also have an idea for a computer chair based off of the collapsable chairs used by massage therapists. They are designed to keep your body in a nuetral comfortable position.

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