I’ve been too freaking busy. There’s another high school game tonight, lunch with friends tomorrow and I’ve yet to find the time to really get the last rewrites done on my book. I’m enjoying my paying job, but do long to work at the one I was recently informed is only a hobby since I don’t get paid for it yet. 😉
Extended family stuff has sucked up a lot of my brain time as well, so I sat down this morning and wrote out all the projects I need to do. I do better with lists. It helps to just focus on one thing at a time and there’s a nice sense of accomplishment when you get to cross one off and move to the next.
So, it’s been eons since I gave you guys a real writing post. How about I remedy that situation? Want to see the current rewrites of a scene?
Here’s the rough version:
Shrugging, I winked at Nikolos and jumped.
Chaos erupted on the ground as I landed. Seven young adults came at me, five male, two female. I had landed next to two of the boys and without hesitation, I spun into a kick that took the first one by surprise. He hit the pavement and just lay there, stunned.
“So. What’s up?” I asked,
The remaining six looked at me, each other, then rushed me. Damn, I was hoping the kick would have scared them into talking. At least I’d taken down the biggest one first.
This wasn’t anything like the fights you see in movies where the opponents hold back and approach each other one or two at a time. No, they just all came at once in a flurry of kicks and fists. I didn’t catch the glint of silver yet, so no one had pulled knives. I hoped.
I heard Nikolos’ heavy, large frame hit the ground. He recovered fast, though, wading right into the crowd of brats around me. Unfortunately, the first one to attack him was a girl and it was so freaking obvious that wasn’t something he expected. His startled, slack expression cost him as she landed a solid kick to his chest. I heard his breath hitch right before he grabbed her foot and twisted. He was going to have to teach me that move. Her entire body flew up and back and even the boy trying to get a punch at me stopped to look when her skull cracked into the blacktop.
One boy yelled and jumped on Nikolos’ back, grabbing his ponytail and screaming into his ear.
I got whacked in the nose. My eyes watered as pain exploded into my brain. “Ow. Shit!” Blinking rapidly, I jumped away, my back hitting one of the other kids who immediately wrapped his arms around my waist. I rolled my eyes. The top of his head didn’t even come to my shoulders.
We were beating up children.
Okay, this is supposed to be a fight scene and even I’m yawning here!! It needs to be tighter. It needs more umph! More descriptive words. Let’s try this again.
I winked at Nikolos and jumped.
Pain spiked my heels as my boots slammed onto the hard asphalt. Ignoring it, I bared my teeth at this ridiculous group of misfits. “So, what’s up?”
I had time to register seven shocked expressions before they rushed me—five male, two female. This was nothing like the movies where the opponents held back and approached one or two at a time. No, it was complete and utter chaos. I blinked into the blur of unpracticed punches, shrugged, then spun into a kick that crashed into the shoulder of the young man closest to me.
His kohl-lined eyes flew open wide as he hit the pavement, stunned.
There was a moment of stillness and I heard Nikolos’ heavy frame hit the ground behind me. Without hesitation, he waded into the crowd of brats. This spurred them back into action, but unfortunately, the first one to attack him was a girl.
His startled, slack expression cost him as she landed a solid kick to his chest. I heard his breath hitch right before he grabbed her foot and twisted. Her body flew up and back, her head making a sickening, cracking noise when it hit the blacktop.
I winced. Stared. Her chest rose and fell so she was still breathing.
Nikolos was so going to teach me that move.
A tall, rangy boy cried out and jumped on Nikolos’ back, grabbing his hair and screaming into his ear.
I moved to help but got whacked in the nose with the side of a fist. My eyes watered as pain exploded into my brain. “Ow. Shit!” Blinking rapidly, I jumped back, hitting one of the other kids with my elbow. I turned, knocked him off balance and he immediately wrapped his arms around my waist. I rolled my eyes. The top of his head didn’t even come to my shoulders.
We were beating up children.
What do ya think? Better?