My CP Gave Me A Disgusting Nightmare

Warning:  If you are prone to heavy imagination overload, skip this post.

Rachel Vincent probably didn’t mean to twist my imagination in quite the way she did.  And no, while I am critiquing her work right now and LOVING IT, a few simple words did this terrible thing. (Okay that AND the critique.)

It’s the time of year when certain Oklahoma creatures begin invading the home.  There is nothing like bopping around barefoot and seeing one of these lift its back end at you.  (Did you know that isn’t a tail?  It’s an extension of their abdomen.)

So, I’m telling her about my almost-in-the-shower-heebie-jeebie dance and she casually mentions getting stung IN HER BED. 

In it, fairly warned readers.

Oh, and while I caught mine and took it outside, she puts hers down the garbage disposal. This werecat writer has a dark side, eh?  But then, she has been stung and so far, I’ve avoided it.  I have no idea how because I find these things everywhere.  I cleaned out a stack of magazines in my office and found two dead ones underneath.  They’ve been in my kids’ rooms–okay yes, when it comes to my kiddos, I can bring myself to administer a swift death. 

No freaking garbage disposal though!!!

So, while I was tucking my wonderfully relaxed (see post on Worst PAIN Ever! below) self into bed all weekend, I was lifting covers to inspect the bottom of the sheets.  On Mother’s Day, my hubby brings me coffee in bed then makes a joke about nests of scorpions in the bedroom somewhere.  I watched the floor all weekend.

Didn’t help.

I dreamed of freaking black werecats with stingers and huge garbage disposals. 

And since I’m critiquing, Rachel is going to know exactly how this “coming together” happened.

Yuck. 

(On a side note, I didn’t do a drawing for prizes in my Apex Digest Subscription Drive–I had two comment, so both won!  Congrats Carol and Dorris!!)

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About Rinda Elliott

Writer.I love unusual stories and credit growing up in a family of curious life-lovers who moved all over the country. Books and movies full of fantasy, science fiction and romance kept us amused, especially in some of the stranger places. For years, I tried to separate my darker side with my humorous and romantic one. I published short fiction, but things really started happening when I gave in and mixed it up. When not lost in fiction, I love making wine, collecting music, gaming and spending time with my husband and two children. I’m represented by Miriam Kriss of the Irene Goodman Agency.
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10 Responses to My CP Gave Me A Disgusting Nightmare

  1. Carol Shenold says:

    Wow, thanks. I won something! I know what you mean about scorpians. It hasn’t been a problem in OKC but when we lived in Texas, in the country, we had scorpians, a tarantula, a swarm of bees, and a possum, all attack at various times. I was stung by a scorpian as a kid, while watching a Charlie Chan movie one summer evening. Of course the movie was about poisoning people so my imagination went wild.

  2. When I lived in Arizona, (and when I was preggers) I would always keep scotch tape on hand. Mine were normally crawling on the wall, down from a vent most likely. I would tape them to the wall and let te hubs dispose of them later.

    Worst. Nightmares. Ever.

    And we’re freaking going back there for vacation in June. 😮

    Oh, and remind me not piss Rachel off. 😉

  3. Yeah, sorry about that. 😉

  4. relliott4 says:

    Sure you are. Damn vivid writing of yours.

    Heather, others have said the same thing about getting on Rachel’s bad side…

    Taping them to the wall??? ROFL!!!

    Carol, they are a problem out my way. I wish all these wild turkeys would put scorpion on the menu.

  5. Scorpions!!? OMG. They run neck and neck with spiders for the creepy factor. Um…if they have necks. Ugh!

    As for taping them to the wall, too funny. But, wouldn’t you have to get close to them to do that?

  6. relliott4 says:

    I keep chuckling over this image of Heather running to a wall with tape at the end of her outstretched hands. Missing. Jumping back and more than likely doing a fair imitation of my heebie-jeebie dance before going in again.

    And was it really really thick tape?

  7. Carol Shenold says:

    It would have to be that really sticky, extra-wide, heavy-duty packing tape for me to get close enough, on purpose, to tape them to the wall.

    Then, what if they were the really big were-spiders that Yasmine Galenorn had in one of her books. Gross.

  8. Celise says:

    Living in AZ we get a lot of these. Although I have yet to find one in my house. I imagine people that live closer to the mountains get these in their house. My hubby freaks out around roaches. He does the heebie-jeebie dance, too. LOL. I can just imagine what he’d do if he found one of these in our house. LOL.

  9. Brooke says:

    Heather–you crack me up.

    Rinda–I get them at my house too–all the sandy soil in our area. So far I have not gotten stung, but I imagine it is only a matter of time as I tend to walk barefoot in the dark and have found them in my path. My dog sniffs them out and tells me about them. He lets me take care of business. Spiders or scorpions in the house die. I don’t try to get them on the outside, though. I just don’t want them returning.

  10. relliott4 says:

    The hubby and I made a deal about me letting them go. He thinks they come back and used the kids’ possible pain to sway me. I will now be dispatching. Don’t think I could grind them to death still, tho.

    I now kill spiders. They all look like fiddlebacks to me. LOL!

    Brooke, I have a new band that is blowing me away!!!!! Same stuff you’ve liked from me before.

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